Just Another Diary

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:35:18 GMT

Testing, testing, one two three. This is just a test. But, uh, if anyone actually does get here, somehow - This is Supernatural fanfiction, implied Dean/Castiel, spoilers for season five episode four.

His Sharper Reality

Dean doesn’t know how this all happened. The hell-on-earth scene? Been there, done that. He could deal (well, no, he couldn’t, but at least he knew what to expect). Problem is? The apocalypse isn’t actually what he had anticipated. He’d expected some sort of instant take-over, demons devouring the earth in minutes. Fire and brimstone, just like grandma used to tell it.

Instead there’s this, and it’s worse. The planet is decaying inside and out, and Dean finds something new to hate every damn day.

And so he knows he’s become a bit of a cold-hearted bastard, but guess what? This is about much more than one person, or a family, or even a fucking country. So, yeah. If it saves the world? Then he’ll kill and torture and do absolutely whatever he has to. Any weakness or hesitation and this tentative foothold will slip away.

His men get that. They understand, and those who don’t, well, they don’t last. He’s almost proud of them – it’s a shame there weren’t more hunters like these back in the golden days of yore - but he won’t actually get close to anyone. That never works out well, in his experience. Love is why he ended up in hell the first time, and it’s why he and everybody else is back in it now. So, no. He’s done with that shit.

And then there’s Castiel, who doesn’t fucking get it. It infuriates Dean to no end. He wants to force him to understand that this is the way it has to be, and he wants to hit Castiel because somehow he’s turned into this drugged-up pathetic caricature of himself, a washed-out ex-angel who should have been so much more, even as a human. He could have been - hell, hadn’t he and Sam and Dad been proof enough? That you don’t need those twisted supernatural powers in order to save people? Look where Sam ended up. That right there is proof that divine intervention is pretty much as screwed up as the rest of this god-forsaken world.

So he can’t deal with this, not on top of everything. He needs Cas, as his right-hand man and as his friend. Spock to his Kirk.

But apparently the angels did take Cas away when they jumped ship, because this stranger left in his place doesn’t feel or act like Cas at all, and Dean hates this imposter because he isn’t right, and Dean can’t loose this, not on top of everything else.

But, whatever. Shit happens, right? He’ll deal. Even if he has to do it by alone, even if he has to destroy himself, and Castiel, and all of his crew – well, then, at least no one can say he hasn’t learned his lesson. Sacrifice is necessary, and he will fucking annihilate Lucifer, because there’s no way he’s letting that loser angel reject take his world and burn it down.

Finally. That was way more complicted than it needed to be. Finally figured out my anti-virus protection was stopping the LJ-cuts.

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 15:14:06 GMT

After mistakenly posting onto my own journal instead of the community, I finally managed to post there, and then delete the same post by going to edit it. I then re-posted my little inquiry, and opted to leave it here as well. I'm thinking that maybe I should copy posts I make over onto my journal. I wonder how many times I can use the word "post" in this short missive? Gah, I feel like such an idiot today. I just keep doing really stupid stuff...

*decides to leave while I'm relatively ahead.

...Only not really, because I just wanted to say that I need to go and edit my story before POSTing it, as if I'll care a year from now. And yes, that deserved Caps-lock. Now really, I'm GOING.*

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:59:48 GMT

I've been gone for the past few months, so I'm hoping that you guys can help me catch up on what I've missed. I'm looking for decent-sized (but not Epic) fics that came out sometime during the last four or so months. I'd prefer to read stories with good plot, humor, and limited leg-pain angst. H/W would be preferable of course, but I would also like to read any outstanding pure-friendship stories that you can think of. Thanks!

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:52:45 GMT

Well, that appeared to fail dismally - but perhaps it is different when it's MY jounal? I'll go to a community, post some small thing ( a request or question, something valid). I shall then attempt to delete it to insure that if I have not yet actually figured out how to use the cut, I can still delete my post. Off to check it out!

Actually, first I'm going to go delete that FAILURE of a post.

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:39:11 GMT

"When you post an entry, you can use an "LJ-Cut" to hide everything underneath it with a link. This is useful for really long entries, hiding spoilers, and is usually done as a courtesy for your friends' Friends page."

Great! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?!?!!! I can't post any of my stories anywhere until I figure this out, and it doesn't seem to say anywhere! *continues to feel anger*
*decides to try to use google to maybe find a step-by-step actually INFORMATIVE instructon guide... later.*

An Opening

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:06:58 GMT

Well, I suppose that I ought to post something here. I've only just joined the livejournal gathering that seems to have become so widespread, despite having heard about it numerous times before from various other sorces. In the past I was worried about whether or not I would have the time to maintain a journal if I got one; I still am unsure, actually. But I wanted to give it a try.
Anyway, I'm basically clueless as to... well, actually, most everything pertaining to livejournal. I suppose I'll just have to figure it out myself.